What’s better: a Derby Party spent in the comfort of your own home or a Saturday on the infield?
Well I couldn’t tell you for sure because I’ve never been to the Kentucky Derby. I don’t trust any sort of hoofed creatures and won’t get within 2,000 feet of them. With that said, I will tell you that (1) I’m a sucker for tradition and (2) it doesn’t get much better than wearing a pastel suit or (Players Shirt), riling up a daytime whisky buzz, and watching a pack of horsies bolt around the track at 40 mph for roughly two minutes.
The Derby is special. Really, it’s a rare few events in this country that attract the likes of ol’ Queenie Elizabeth, Hugh Hefner (RIP!) and Multi-Platinum Recording Artist Nick Lachey. And the the traditions are clearly defined. Big ass hats. Mint Juleps. Southern comfort food. The whole event is pretty much a no-brainer. Only things you need to worry about are sipping your drink and yelling out in an old-timey accent.
So what, exactly, should you wear? It’s true, with a license to ball out comes a lot of room for error. Well, there’s the obvious choice, but if you missed your chance to snag the must-have shirt of the tournament (AKA the sold-out Mint Julep, AKA your ticket into Millionaire’s Row*) then I don’t pity you. Luck favors the bold (and the decisive), and better luck next time.
Oh, and speaking of blazers, we’ve brought back the hottest item of the summer, and it also happens to be a pastel. Don’t miss out on this one, ya chump.
Be the Ball,
The Criquet Caddie
*This is by no means a guarantee of entry into the Millionaire’s Row but you’ll probably feel like a Millionaire. Just wear the shirt and see what happens.