It’s no secret that on the scale of awesome to suck, the year 2020 ranks somewhere right near having an appendage repeatedly slammed in a car door.
So in honor of better times ahead, I offer you a simple concoction for a bit of joie de vivre: the Sazerac de Noonan.
It takes a bit more effort than my usual pour of Lagavulin 16, but desperate times call for delicious measures. Even Ron Swanson would approve.
First, get some good rye whiskey. Good, not great. You’d do well with some Rittenhouse, or even the namesake Sazerac Rye (though Rittenhouse brings the heat and thus, more special voodoo magic.) Don’t go cheap, but prudence is also advised – you’ll be adding other alcohol to the mix. Naturally, you’ll need a little simple syrup…a little sugar, a little water. Eh, you’ll figure it out. Throw it in a glass.
Now, bitters. Certain to drive the bitterness right out of you. Peychaud’s, for certain. Angostura, if you like. Partial to Abbot’s myself.
Then, a few drops of absinthe – the most expensive of the bottles (if you buy right.) You don’t have to use the real green fairy, but as my ol’ friend Wooderson likes to say…
Top it off with a fat, blocky, clear-as-a-nun’s-conscience ice cube. And yes, yes, I know you’re supposed to stir and strain and add a lemon twist…but look, if you want fruit and theatrics, skip on over to an orchard somewhere (6 ft from your buddy of course). In your own damn house, you make the rules. And the pours. No need to impress anyone other than yourself and the neighbor watching you through their blinds.
And now for the final ingredient. And this is crucial, so get it right.
Sip, sling, and repeat as needed. There. Better already, friends.
Now go forth, be of good cheer, and be the ball. And 2021 better be good.