Noonan at Noon

An Olympic Rant (Noonan’s Day Off)

EDITOR’S NOTE: Our beloved Noonan couldn’t be here today. No, friends, he’s not silencing the clanging “Hammers of Hangover” inside his feeble skull with a few sips of a well-stirred Bloody. He did dash along a short note saying his recent marathon forays into both True Detective and the second season of House of Cards have left him “in awe, depleted, and without comment on the glorious depravity of humanity.” This, coupled with the fact that Norway has won more gold medals in this Winter Olympics than America, was no doubt more than he could mentally bear (though I do suspect the same could be said for the third Rittenhouse Manhattan he quaffed a few nights back – but I digress.) In fact, he did send this:

U.S. gold in Ice Dancing. Slightly better than being on the losing Russian Ice Hockey team, which will no doubt be personally executed by Putin. SLIGHTLY.

 (EDITOR’S SECOND NOTE: We at Criquet do not necessarily endorse the views and opinions sarcastically expressed by Noonan, as Ice Dancing is a fine sport in and of itself, and one that is perfectly suitable for any of its participants to wear, sponsor, or endorse Criquet apparel. This is especially true if said Ice Dancer also plays golf on the side, or engages in other noble activities such as more golf.)

At any rate, we do wish Noonan well and Godspeed in his return to the e-written word. Send him good vibes if you can, and perhaps a good whisky if you’re willing. 

Oh yes, he would also wish that I sign-off in the proper manner.

Be the ball. 

 – The Editor

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