Noonan at Noon

A Public Service Announcement

A public service on 1/1/2014.

Some days you wake up and need the ‘Hair of the Dog’ that bit you. But once a year you call for the ‘Hide of the Beast’ that tore your scalp clean off your skull, leaving your neurons exposed to a legion of tiny evil elves who gleefully drive their pickaxes into every crevice of your being.

Yes, I speak of the acrid aftermath of the previous night’s champagne, cocktails, beer, more champagne, and ‘Oh God, did I do two shots of Jameson?’

Your condition can best be described by the immortal words of Robert Stack: “Do you know what it’s like to fall in the mud and be kicked…in the head…with an iron boot?

“That’s what a hangover in your 30s feels like, Ted.”


So, lest all these extra words feel like Thor’s hammer clanging against the inside of your brain parts, I present to you Noonan’s secret elixir to regaining a modicum of composure on this, the first day in the year of our Lord, two thousand and fourteen.


Noonan’s Blood-de-Mary
  • Tomato juice (V-8 will work)
  • Worcestershire (6 healthy shakes)
  • Tabasco (6 dashes – no more, no less)
  • Black pepper (a sprinkle or two)
  • Celery Salt (a couple dashes)
  • Horseradish (a little scoop, but a big difference)
  • Dill
  • 2 shots of vodka. Or if you’re the daring sort, gin.


Mix, drink, repeat as needed. Now, for those too bleary-eyed to read…




Plus either of these:



Happy MMXIV.

Be the ball,